and so there it is
you are as alone as you were in the beginning
peacefully rejected.. this numbing priority
feels somewhat instantaneous
don't we all just want understanding.
compassion to take our eyes
to dress the wounds we keep inside our cheeks.
these lies are persuasive.
but they are not idle.
you lay riddled with anxious movements.
reciting themselves from conversations past.
you see his face in the back of your mind, and wonder if this was all for a reason.
sleepless and stagnant, you write.
you write for a new tomorrow.
you write for someone to hold you.
you write for the sun and its forgiveness.
these pills force what socialization couldn't.
you look out your pillow into a world where people notice you.
into a world where isolation isn't your prisoner.
you practice and rehearse what you would do in that world.
if you could only continue,
your place there thru your real day.
5 hours till sunlight.. and you can't sleep a bite.
/close./
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